i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize