I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize