I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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