Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
