ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
