when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
