Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
