Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize