so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
