whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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