"it" just moved
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
