Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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