all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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