piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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