either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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