he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
