Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
