Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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