I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
