We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize