Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
