it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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