Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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