Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
