You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
