i jhust puked up my retainher.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
