Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
