when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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