if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
