I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
