5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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