who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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