Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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