i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
