dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
