My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
