My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
