You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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