Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize