I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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