How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
