My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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