Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was born a porn star she said
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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