oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
