I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
