we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
