alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
