Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
