So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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