the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
