Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
