Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
3pm strippers are depressing
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
