After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
pray to the hookup gods
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
