margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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