I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
