she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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