you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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