You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
