He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
