I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
