I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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