Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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