Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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