Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
