I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
