HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
