and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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